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17 March 2016 @ 06:49 pm
Fic: Trust {SVU - Amanda/Olivia} (2/?)  
Title: Trust (2/?)
Fandom: SVU
Pairing: Olivia/Amanda
Rating: R
Summary: Trust was an elusive, fleeting thing in Olivia and Amanda's rocky partnership. Amanda's past spills into the present, affecting her work. Can they ever move forward and build trust, as friends, or even something more?
Warnings: Sexual Assault, PTSD
Spoilers: "Forgiving Rollins", s16e10 & "Star-Struck Victims", s17e16.
Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: SVU. No profit made, no infringement intended.


--

They were going to get away with it. Guys like them never went to jail. Ever since Patton, she’d been keeping a list of every smug asshole who never faced a trial, or plead to a lesser crime. The list was getting long, each name a heavy weight on her chest, making breathing almost impossible.

She wasn’t going to add two more names, not when she knew without a doubt they were guilty. So she called the nanny to tell her she was working late. She found the dress and heels from the last sting they’d done at a bar, and fixed her make-up in the squad bathroom. She smiled big when one of the guys working the desk asked if she had a hot date.

“You know it!” she retorted, slipping out the door and into the night.

————————

It was easy to get them to notice her, to buy her drinks. Her honey trap was sweet Georgia brown molasses, so sweet you’d never realize you were stuck. She played them perfectly, and soon she had them. And they had her. Their hands all over her, a blur of grabbing, groping, grinding… for a moment she was lost, forgetting whose hands were really on her. It was her trap, but she was the one tasting fear.

Then she heard it, “You know you want this.” A moment later her knee had slammed into Panko, and she had D'Amico pinned against the wall.

It was a short victory- Dodds showed up, and the whole thing went south. Not that she was going to apologize for a minute of it. They were guilty, end of story in her book.

————————

The video was tough to watch. Part of her brain was absolutely horrified to watch the assault through Amanda’s body cam, but of course the other part of her brain was fucking pissed at Amanda’s irresponsibility. The sergeant part of her brain won out- there was no place for concerned friend (not that she could even really call them friends). Amanda had gone off half-cocked- again- and here she was to clean up the mess. God forbid they actually work as a squad, that Amanda might actually run anything by her instead of acting like a lone ranger.

———————

The leaked video was the final straw. Rollins had broken her trust for the last time. She wasn’t going to put with her antics, her caviler disregard for the rules. She had tried, God knows she had tried to get through to Rollins. Sure it had been a little delayed- at first she hadn’t been keen to accept a new partner (because how could anyone replace El?). But she had tried reaching out, only to be shot down by Rollins' numerous defenses. She’d tried to be friendly, tried to have patience when Amanda screwed up time and time again (and she wasn’t known for her patience).

She was done. Rollins had made her bed, and she was going to face the consequences.

————————

Even though she hadn’t leaked the video, even though she wasn’t about to apologize for exposing two rapists, Rollins knew she’d screwed up. Lord knows she’d never admit it, but she hated getting chewed out by Benson.

This woman- she’d spent half her adult career idolizing her, only to end up a failure in her eyes. She desperately wanted her approval, but she didn’t have the slightest clue how to get it, and even if she did, she was sure she was far too stubborn to actually do whatever needed to be done.

So instead she sat in the dark, her baby girl finally asleep after 3 hours of almost non-stop crying. She was lying to Benson, just not how Benson thought. Only Barba knew what really happened with Patton, and as much as she occasionally wished she could spill her guts to Olivia, she didn’t see that changing real soon.


>> Chapter 3 >>